Sunday Blues

The last time I visited this place, was fourteen years ago, almost to the date. Standing here by the edge of the river again, nothing seems to have changed. The trees, the rocks, the water, even the shrubs, they all look the same. The sound of running water and the wind rustling the leaves. The chill of the autumn air on a clear Sunday afternoon. The spruces standing guard along the far side of the river. It all seems exactly how it was, all those years ago, just like yesterday.

Fourteen long years of my life. So much has happened, and so many things have changed. Relocations domestic and abroad, children growing up, me getting older. Sadness, happiness, and sadness. High ambitions, hard work, and lucky accomplishments. Battles fought and victories celebrated. Disappointments small and big. Contentment, and realizations of the realities of life. Some people leaving, some entering, and then leaving again. Increasing distances between hearts as well as minds. Long awaited hellos, and sad goodbyes across vast oceans and layers upon layers of space and time.

It is strange, almost unreal, to think that fourteen years have passed. For me, it feels like a lifetime. For the river, it must be like the time it takes a tear to roll down a cheek. For the wind, a whisper in its ear. The trees have grown older, but all these years are but a short moment in their lifetime of never ending cycles of the seasons. For the rocks, I am not sure it would even register on their clock, as it must be a speck of time in their eternal life among the stars.

Standing by the water, reflecting, contemplating the passing of time, I realize that life will move on, and continue to change. It is inevitable. A fact. Until that last big change. Until then, it seems, I will keep my Sunday blues.

Sad Things

Why do you write sad things? he asked. When I am here, when I love you.

Because someday, in one way or another, you will be taken from me or I you. It is inevitable. But please understand; from the moment I met you, I stopped writing for the past. I no longer write for the present. When I write sad things, I am writing for the future.

– Lullabies, by Lang Leav

Passing Time

I feel the end is drawing near,
would time be so kind to slow?
You are everything to me, my dear,
you are all I really know.

But as I sit and wait and fear
and watch the hours go—

Everything that happened here
happened long ago.

– Lullabies, by Lang Leav

Losing You

I used to think I couldn’t go a day without your smile. Without telling you things and hearing your voice back.

Then, that day arrived and it was so damn hard but the next was harder. I knew with a sinking feeling it was going to get worse, and I wasn’t going to be okay for a very long time.

Because losing someone isn’t an occasion or an event. It doesn’t just happen once. It happens over and over again.

– Memories, by Lang Leav

Winter’s Sunset

There’s something wonderfully sad about a winter’s sunset.
It deadens the pain, the melancholy of regret.

A fleeting moment of calm surrender.
And emphemeral beauty.

Captured in an instant.
Forever preserved.

In the vast darkness of my heart.
A tiny light deserved

Your Hand in My Hands

Your Hand in My Hands

When your hand is in my hands,
when my words are in your words,
we could get lost just walking like that.

When your breath is in my breath,
and solitude is close to us,
I put my head on your shoulder and fall asleep.

I wake up in your love,
and win by losing to you.
When you get upset, I sing to conciliate you.

My breath is complete with you,
without you there is no fulfillment.
You are my love, with you the season turns to spring.
When you are here I am at peace,
and when you are not, I despair.

My love, just tell me what more to say to you, what do you want to hear?
Everything could keep going on like this,
we keep meeting this way,
but this will only happen when you’re here.
When you’re here.

(Original in urdu by Ali Zafar from his Album Masti)

Days of the Past – Part 2

Days of the Past 2

I remember the moments now past.
When hope was closer than despair still.

A friend could be called to talk about anything and everything.
Or for no reason whatsoever.
Life was good even when it made me weep.
All those small happy moments were mine to keep.

I remember before. Way before. In the past.
When the world lay at my feet still.

Hard work and dedication would always count.
At home or in the office, rewarded in generous amount.
Sky was the only limit, and just like a magic spell.
Everything always turned out well.

Days of the Past 1

Days of the Past – Part 1

2016-07_Days of the Past 1

I remember the days of the past.
When life was full of promises still.

Simple pleasures brightened the days.
Chocolates and pure butter milk cookies with glaze.
Long breakfasts and homemade food.
Lazy evenings with friends brightened the mood.

I remember the times of the past.
When the promise of love was certain still.

Not knowing when it would be met, and where.
Made life uncertain though easy to bear.
Nights were filled with sleep.
And dreams so vivid I always wanted to keep.